What limits do you place upon yourself?
Where do these limits originate from?
Here’s a theory for you: The fear of success is just as limiting as the fear of failure.
No one ever talks about the fear of success though. How could they? It’s not rational. How could we ever be scared of fulfilling our potential?
It’s true though. And I honestly reckon that this is one of the things that held me back for years. I would get to a point ( a ceiling ) that subconsciously I was unable to break through.
A lot of people don’t like change and this can be a big contributor to not achieving more. They believe that in order to achieve more they will have to change as a person (probably right).
Other reasons are that people don’t feel confident in their own ability and don’t think that it’s possible for them to achieve what they set out to. This can stem from being told off for under achievement as a kid. Some deep rooted issues involved with this one and I’m not qualified to advise on them.
I believe that the big one for me was that I wasn’t clear with myself as to what success looks like.
For years I thought that success was all about “how much money I make” or ” the job title that I had” or “the car that I drove”. In fact I remember being 21 years old and saying to my good friend that I would be driving a BMW by the time I was 25.
I had one by the time I was 24.
When I borrowed ridiculous amounts of money from banks, third parties, family (jointly in the tune of £1m) to complete a Management Buy Out back in 2004 I did it for all of the wrong reasons. I did it because I wanted to say that I owned my own company and it was turning over nearly £2m every year. I wanted the power.
But when it all went through I actually felt very flat as I really disliked working in the industry.
When I finally took the plunge and switched industries to train as a Personal Trainer, I started to redefine what success looks like. For me, it’s about creating a rich and rewarding life that allows me to spend quality time with my family.
I want to be able to have amazing holidays with them (like having a whole month in a luxury villa in Spain during the Summer holidays), go to special events (like taking my son to watch Real Madrid at the Bernabeau stadium), see them each morning and each evening (in fact as I write this I have just returned from watching my son’s school performance).
I want to be able to do the things that I get the most enjoyment out of. To be honest I get a serious kick out of seeing dramatic changes to other people’s lives as a result of them coming into contact with me. Whether it’s business breakthroughs or huge mindset shifts. This is what I want to be doing every day.
As I write these blog posts, I want them to resonate with other guys that are in the same kind of awkward, unfulfilled, energy sapping situation that I was in. I want them to then be inspired to then take some kind of action towards their true calling.
Knowing the difference that it is making to my life and how I am growing as a person each and every day – it would be a complete disservice to not share and inspire others to do the same.
So to define success now I would say that
“It’s having the ability and freedom to do what I want, whenever I want”
I feel like I’m pretty close to this.
So time to take some action yourself now.
Write down your definition of success.
Once you’ve done that, have a look at your day to day life as it stands and try to gage how close you are to this.
If you’re miles away, then get busy!
Take action now,
Ricky